The difference of shame: Japan vs. Cambodia

It is a japan-wide consciousness that Japanese people are not good at speaking English. I think one of the major reasons for this symptom is that most of Japanese people think speaking English is embarrassing. For example, the pronunciation for a word of “apple” is “appuru” for Japanese people, so if I pronounced it correctly as “æpl”, I probably would be a target of bullying a little bit.

Since the Japanese-Katakana-English is imprinted into all Japanese people’s subconscious, if you try to pronounce any English words with correct ways, you would be judged as a stuck up person. That is why we, Japanese people, speak English with the pronunciation of the Japanese-Katakana-English. Although all of us know the pronunciation of the Japanese-Katakana-English is incorrect, the tiny warped feeling, such as “it is embarrassing I can’t speak English, but it is more embarrassing if we speak English very well”, is imprinted into our mind unconsciously. It can be said that that is one of the reasons why Japanese people are not able to speak English well even though how hard we learn the grammar or we remember so many vocabularies in our heads.

It can said that this is a kind of honored but evil effect of the Japanese shame in a way.

Well, in Japan, we have a proverb saying “asking is a moment shame, not asking is lifetime shame”. In Cambodia, the locals are very afraid to ask someone about anything, it is like asking is a shame for them. They look like they hate asking like a psycho in our eyes. In order to bear their heads high, they completely focus on one particular thought, which is “I don’t want anyone to think I am stupid. I don’t want anyone to think I am poor”. Because of this thought, they hate asking so much, they don’t even ask quote of a product, for example. Let’s say that you asked a quote for something and you didn’t buy it. Cambodians automatically judge you as “you didn’t buy it because you don’t have money”. In fact, if you ask a price without buying, people would say, “that guy is so poor” behind your back. It is a helpless reality in Cambodia.

Moreover, if you are telling a story Cambodians don’t understand well, however they say, “I understand that, actually I know that already”. I have so many experiences such as a tuktuk driver get lost because they say, “Ok, get on”, instead of asking me the directions. “Not knowing” and “not understanding” are biggest shames for them, that is why they never say, “I don’t know”.

I know this fact sounds so ridiculous in general. However, this shame of sense is imprinted into their DNA like Japanese people’s shame which I noted at the beginning of this blog. It is very hard to get rid of this imprinting. They face a dilemma of “they don’t understand it unless they ask. But they don’t want to ask it, so they just stay ignorant. They know they are ignorant but still they don’t ask because they don’t want anyone to think he/she is ignorant”. Furthermore, since they act like they know what they actually don’t know, any cases tend to become so complicated like you get lost in a labyrinth.

Yes, it is like a tuktuk keeps running toward somewhere impossible even though I confirmed the direction with a driver.

Anyway, I think Japanese people are able to be good at English if we keep speaking it by being beyond all sense of shame. So I am pretty sure that if Cambodian ask questions to others without the feeling of shame, no one thinks Cambodians are ignorant anymore. Well, we have a proverb, “the leopard cannot change his spots”, so it is probably hard to change their nature, I guess. I am just wondering that any other countries have these kind of shame or not.

The small collection of the unexpected events in Cambodia

As a truck crashed into a utility pole on the way to Siem Reap from our neighboring country, Thailand last evening, and whole of the city has a blackout for all day. It is very hard for people who live in developed countries to believe this kind of incident happens in reality. Just two years ago, the similar incident happed as well, and the electricity of the whole city (it actually expanded four states in Cambodia) was out over four days. Since we couldn’t take a shower, not to speak of a toilet because there was no power to draw the groundwater up, we were forced to move one resort hotel to another in Siem Reap for a while. Well, let me introduce some unexpected events in Cambodia I have ever had here.

When I put my four-wheel drive JEEP with a stick shift out for repair, it came back to me as a two-wheel drive automatic car. Moreover, they were supposed to repair it in a week, but it actually took more than three months for repair.

I purchased a bulldozer with a driver. The driver said to me, “I haven’t got full-payment yet from the previous owner, so please pay that money to me”. Moreover, He took the important parts of the bulldozer out and run away with them, and demand a ransom later.

Since the neighboring farmers did the burn off the dead grass, the mountain fires happened and my farm land was burned over tens of thousands square meters (it actually happened two years in a row). When I reported in to the police, they said, “Take the criminals here, then we will arrest them”.

When I visited my farm unexpectedly, a whole people of the neighboring village came to the farm by a dump truck to steal the potatoes. The manager, who was a living-in worker of our farm at that time, probably planned and let the people, I guess.

The portable safety box, which was located inside the locked drawer, was stolen in a daytime. Of course, one of our employee stole it and she said to me, “Let me borrow your money because I don’t have any money to give the money I’ve taken with the safe back to you”.

The police arrested the other employee and we brought the guy to a court for a criminal trial. While the defendant statement was going on, the cell phone of the judge went off for three times and the judge answered it and said, “Hello, I am kind of busy right now”. Of course, the court workers told all of us were to turn our cell phone off during the trial.

When one of my friends was doing some processes to obtain a visa at Phnom Penh International Airport, the worker gave my friend’s passport away to a guy who didn’t have any relation to the visa process. The guy used my friend’s passport to enter Cambodia without any problem. The immigrant let my friend enter to Cambodia without his passport because they said, “ok, you can enter because it can’t be helped”. My friend somehow was able to contact the guy who took his passport and the passport came back to him. Well, my friend is the age of late thirties and the guy who took his passport is the age of sixties. We have no idea how the immigrant was able to miss this age difference.

When I was going to put my car for repair in order to fix the brake, the only break part they had found was a second-hand. Meanwhile I was telling them that I didn’t want any Cambodia’s second-hands, there was a call from the repair service, which said, “We have found one brand new part”. So, I asked them to change the parts immediately, but they couldn’t because the model of my car was year 2009, but the parts was year 2010. They disassembled and alternated it, and tried to put it onto the break part somehow, but it failed. Even though they didn’t fix my car, they sent a bill to charge me the fee of the parts.

Fortune-telling is very important for Cambodians, especially for the marriage. When I was going to marry my wife, the wife’s parents said to me, “The Chinese year of our daughter is the rooster and the fortune-telling is saying if she didn’t marry this year, she won’t be able to marry next four years”. Of course I wanted to show my respect to the Cambodian culture as much as possible and I didn’t have any disagreement, but the only problem was that her Chinese year was the dog, not the rooster.

Well, I am enjoying my Cambodian life with the events with a little giggle and the serious events, which are not even funny. Be honest with you, only a few times in a year, I ask myself, “Hey, what the hell I am doing here with such troubles?” But…, I don’t think I am able to quit this inspiring life once I have experienced…

The things people in poverty want.

Cambodian and its people, especially locals who lives in country side were thought to be poor (Or in poverty) as if perfect example of poverty. Well, it is not wrong. They rarely have a big amount of cash or something. However, the things such as hunger or starvation that most people often think of with poverty are not happening in Cambodia. And most are thinking that the cause of such poverty is a lack of work opportunities. So, it means that if there are chances or places to work, they will be rich.

However, what I have noticed recently as I am going and interact deeper with local villagers is that there actually are jobs and there are plenty of opportunities for them to make some extra cash. It is different as, for example Japan, where people are really busy as much as they die. Well, literally. So, I thought that why don’t they work a bit more since they have plenty of time left. But I kind of understanding why they do not do it so.

The reason is that “There is nothing to spend a money for”. It seem difficult to understand at a glance.

You may think “Well, there are plenty of way to spend you money!”. I was thinking the same of course. But money will be effective when there is more than some amount of it and if they make only $100 of extra money, their life won’t change dramatically. In fact, if they work bit longer than now, they will make only $100 – $200 a month.

Of course there are things they want to have. Something like, new motorcycle, car, flat screen TV, house with air-con, fridge or gold watch… but they are all cost more than $100 or $200. Unlike developed countries, there isn’t system of credit or credit card, in that case, it is impossible for them to purchase those things. Well, they have theey can no use air-con or fridge since there are not electric grid yet.

If it is in your country, there must be some way to spend money if you have an extra $100. Like big fancy dinner, nice closes, have a movie night or take a small trip to somewhere. There are varieties of choices. But in Cambodia, choice of using $100 would be “Drinking beer” or “play cards with neighbours with drinking beer”. …yup. They are smart enough to not work if there is only a way to waste their money. If they want to drink they can work bit of extra for a day and it will be enough.

However, there is a thing that changes their concept of using their money. Smartphones. IPhone is their lofty dream and only few guys in village have it. But even for ordinary people, they now can buy used smartphones with around $100. They don’t even know how to use it but since Cambodian tend to think that it is a shame to not have something others are having, more and more people are having smartphones and you can see them selling middle of now where on dirt road where there is no electricity.

By looking at such change in local people in suburbs of Cambodia, I am thinking that smartphone user will keep increasing in all over the world.